Monday, July 25, 2011

90 REASONS...YOU KNOW YOU'RE LIBYAN WHEN...



1. Your parents tell you eating sheep brains will make you smarter.
2. You kiss everyone four times (once on each cheek then again)
3. Hell or high-water, you have these three items in your pantry: Pasta, Tuna, and Hareesa.
4. You're at someone's house and you do/say something you weren't supposed to do/say and your mom 'fanasis' at you and pinches the inside of your thigh.
5. You never show up to anything on time. Even your own wedding.
6. A common reaction to shock or dismay is scratching your face with your fingernails, slapping your cheeks and sliding them down saying 7ayyyyyyyy! or WINNABEEE?!
7. You say things like "omg her blood is so heavy" and "go drink salt water"
8. Something is nasty and you say it bothers your liver (darehteli kabdi)
9. Your mom insists on taking a lemon, cutting it in half, flipping it inside out and rubbing it on ur elbows and knees to make them look whiter for the Libyan party. After you're all dressed up she says 'aywa, hikee bintee helwa wa baitha'
10. You ask a foby libee their age and they give you their date of birth.
11. Makaroona is part of your meal at least 4 times a week
12. You've hung 'Gideed' out to dry...IN PUBLIC
13. If you're from the sharg, you delli3 everything, even food...khbaiza, rzaiza, l7aima, shraiba...
14. You eat dough shaped like a mountain (Asida) covered in fat with your hands...and you love it.
15. You're somehow related or know every other Libyan. If they're unfamiliar, you ask "3ailett minnoo?"
16. Your entire family runs in front of the TV when anything about Libya is mentioned. You get excited and proud, even if it's bad.
17. You're talking to Libya and the whole street heard your conversation.
18. Your parents think a spoon full of honey, olive oil or 7ilba can cure anything...even cancer.
19. People can never guess where you're from
20. You call everyone 3ammi and khalti.
21. You save grocery bags and use them for knasa.
22. You don't use measuring cups or recipes.
23. You own restaurant size cooking ware.
24. Your Mom has two sets of dishes, towels, mafarish and bed sheets: One for everyday use and the other for guests
25. You can't have a meal without bread.
26. Zumeeta doesn't look appetizing but you eat it any way...and you love it.
27. Your favorite food is 3usban, but you are embarrassed to tell your friends what it really is
28. Your grandmother has more tattoos than a hell's Angels member.
29. You tell another Libyan something you don't want anyone else to know...and some how the next day everyone in libya knows about it
30. You always brag about being either shergawi or gherbawi & make an issue out of it...even if you're ass has never been to Libya.
31. Your Parents have threatened to smash either your Computer or T.V if they see you on it again.
32. You've asked your parents for money and they've said " Ana Mesh imga3mez ala bunk raho!"
33. You try to go up to your room to be alone for a minute, and your parents are like "jayhom 7alah nafseya, lazem inrawe7 behum el Libya."
34. It's 3aib to shave your legs, pluck your eyebrows or wear ki7il unless you're married.
35. On your wedding day, you will probably look like Michael Jackson.
36. Your parents bargain with everyone. Even at the mall.
37. You always cook too much.
38. Your parents never go to the movies.
39. You never discuss your love life with your parents.........EVER.
40. Your parents are never happy with your grades
41. You never order desserts at restaurants...unless it's buffet.
42. You seldom ever owned new clothes and toys if you were a second or a middle child.
43. You always drink tea after a meal
44. You clap your hands while laughing
45. All your aunts and uncles have more kids than fingers.
46. You think sandwiches are snacks, not meals.
47. You prop up one knee while eating
48. There is no five o'clock shadow - it's a five o'clock beard.
49. You're home an hour late and you're already listed as a missing person.
50. You tell your mother you're not hungry and she thinks you have an eating disorder.
51. You have a bunch of expensive perfumes on your dresser but prefer to use the cheaper ones because you don't want to waste your good stuff.
52. You dip bread and ka3ak in your coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and milk.
53. You have no less than 30 cousins. You don't know half of them.
54. You hide everything from your parents.
55. You avoid public places when you meet up with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 mile radius.
56. You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all members of your family have come to pick you up.
57. You go back to your home country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.
58. Your parent are panicking if you aren't married when you turn 25
59. Your mother measures wealth in gold
60. Most of your cousins are named after your grandfather.
61. Your parents compare you to their friends' kids
62. Sleeping on the floor is nothing new to you.
63. You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hotdogs.
64. Your parents insist you marry another Libyan.
65. No one from the opposite sex is allowed to call you at home.
66. You flip out when someone mistakes you for a Jew.
67. Your mom recycles plastic cups and paper plates, and sandwich bags by washing them.
68. It's "normal" if a wedding has over 600 people.
69. You won't know half the people at your wedding cuz your parents invited them.
70. When you see another fellow Libyan you don't know ANYWHERE, you try to hide and disappear even if you are just having a coffee with your friend
71. If you see another Libyan in the stores you try to figure out if you know them if not you try to do your best as for them not to know where you are from.
72. Eating out is foreign to your parents... 'shin hadi maklat el barra... khiii... muskheen...'
73. You make your own food for your daughter's wedding... instead of letting the hall cater their food... and you have a buffet line... instead of waiters
74. Your social existence consists of gurma over shahee...
75. You feel 9 months pregnant... its only bazeen...
76. You constantly reply... " Te bahiii... digeegaa"...
77. A wedding isn't complete without playing Majrooda and Zamzamat...
78. Your family is going through depression when they're low on 'tun' and 'hareesa'...
79. Your ears perk when you hear the words 'tamam', 'meeya meeya'
80. You do something wrong, the first thing that comes to your mind is 'Taya7 Sa3dik... Inharik Ahrif 3ala rasik'
81. You're on vacation, you cook 'macroona imbakibka' in your hotel room
82. Macroona can be everyday meals...
83. You've had more than your share of Inharik Aswid...
84. You do something wrong, your parents threaten that they'll send you back to Libya
85. If you don't have your trusty darbooka on you... you turn everything into one...
86. You know what a falga is... but you found out the hard way...
87. Everything you do is classified as '3aib'…
88. You're traumatized every time you see '3asaa', 'shibshib', or 'tubou'...
89. Your mother can throw a shibshib farther than Donovan McNabb can throw a football...
90. You're wearing this shirt reppin Saga3 3alaik!!

God Bless Libya and Every Descent Libyan :)

اللي ماجاش ليبي فاته الجو كله


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